Ho-ho-ho!

I asked Santa to make my Christmas this year extra special. And guess what? He did grant me my wish. Ho-ho-ho!

Lovies. An afternoon of drama and love with these people in Katipunan. I love you hubby and my co-wives. (That didn't sound right!) How come no one brings camera when we're together. :P

BLD Shine 2010! Great Worship led by Christel, Tim, Riza, Kris and Sancho. Kinilabutan ako sa inyo! Also, thank you to our ates and kuyas who willingly shared their time, talent and TREASURES to the youth ministry. We were aiming for P9.0K for the food. Truly, the Lord provides as we were able to get a total of 18.2K. Double of what we needed!!! Huwag sana kayong magsawa sa pagtulong sa youth!

JC2x Year 3 - Bachelor Blues. Great food with great people! Photobooth fever. I miss this. Happy birthday boys!

CMG Gleeks. What is career? Congratulations to everyone who performed. Ang galing niyong lahat!

If you notice, I'm wearing a pink dress which my mom made. Was trying to copy Queen's costume in their Lady Gaga episode. Aina wore balloons for the bubble dress. We all looked pretty weird. Nonetheless, we both won best costume. Yey!!!

Christmas Day.

Bicol Trip.
I love my 4-day trip to Bicol with these amazing people. Lolo wanted to go back to his hometown, while Mama was nagging us for the past 2 years to go see Mayon. Finally, both of their wishes came true.

Mayon Volcao is very beautiful! I want to go back there.

Who would have thought a person with no-sense-of-balance like me was able to finish the course not only once but thrice and even beat the boys. Kuya's going to take his revenge next time, sama ulit ako! Will come back for you CWC!

I love you December 2010!

~ It's the most wonderful time of the year, Rica Gran

Sweet November (part 1)

It was more of a bittersweet November. There were a lot of unexpected, painful and inevitable events that came. Yet at the end of the day, it's about learning from everything that has happened and just trying to find the good behind it.

Keep in shape (for the first time). It was just after the whole Dancing Diva class that I realized how much I miss dancing. Even though "Dancing Diva" wasn't really my and Jill's (ballerina) forte when it comes to dancing, we really enjoyed ourselves. Going beyond the normal. But I give credit to Pia since it was her idea of taking lessons.It's about her doing something she has long been wanting to try. Stage-bestfriend na siguro ako, because I'm so proud of her after watching the video. Galing!!! Thank you, dancing divas. Ibang class naman sa susunod?

When was the last time you actually did something for the first time?

Spontaneity. Unplanned events are exciting! And sometimes they're the ones that last in one's memory. This would have to be one of those nights. Good food + Good and great people = Good Times! More of this, please!

BLD friends!

Reconnect with an old friend. My ishtarr and donut-buddy, one of the persons with whom I can easily share my stories with all emotions. Even though we rarely see and spend time with each other, the bond that we have is enough for us not to notice the time when we're apart. Love you, Ishtarr.

~ Sweet November, Rica Gran

will post the next installment of my Sweet November a week from now... hopefully.

Come and See

Youth Encounter #21.
October 22-24, 2010
BLD Covenant House, Cavite

Indeed, a very humbling experience. Ending 2 consecutive days with a "Good morning!" makes you a certified YE Addict. Good job YE#20, shepherd, facis and graduates!

Want to know more about the weekend?
(click on the pic for higher resolution. )

Come and See, Rica Gran

99 Days Before Christmas

It's been a while since I smiled this much. I knew in my heart that my birth month was going to be beautiful. But truth be told, it was more than I expected it to be. (This is going to be a very long entry.)

Just like in every person's birthday, the celebrant gets to wish something for his/her birthday. I only had one wish... I want to be happy. But happiness won't come to me gift-wrapped and all, I have to work for it. I then staring re-assessing my current state. Why do I want to be happy? Am I not happy enough with what I have? Where should I start? What should I do? Who do I turn to? As you can I see I did a lot of questioning. Not all were directly answered but I knew I needed to do something. I needed to move.

"You may be currently in your valley of tears but do not make it your permanent residence." -Randy of Makati Feast

Move. I was stagnant for the past few months. I thought that I deserve where I was. Always looking behind and never to move forward. Or maybe it was more of scared to move forward. I knew I didn't want to let go of the things that gave meaning to my life. I didn't want to forget. But eventually, I figured that no one told me that I have to totally let go or forget about everything. My past is part of me but it does not mean I should stay there and let it define me. I can still grow as a person and in order to grow, I need to move.

(a) I finally opened my own time deposit account! Just now? It's because I actually have no idea where to invest my money. So even if it's just a TD account, I'm still proud of myself. If you know a good business where I can invest or seminars about stocks, trust or funds which I can attend, just let me know. PS. No pyramid scams please.

"When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality."- Dom Helder Camara

Dream. When you have a supportive family like mine, you can't help but get excited for your future as well. I've been very vocal to my parents about my business proposal way back in high school. Dreams aren't supposed to be dreams forever. And so I started telling them about my plans of putting up my own coffee shop. On our way home from work, Papa and I would discuss the essential things we need to consider for the business. It's good to have someone to remind you of reality when you're being to idealistic. Thanks, Papa.

(b) Parents and I went to the Food Expo last Sept 10. I'm so grateful they brought me there. It felt like I'm one step closer to my dreams. I had a plastic full of flyers, brochures with quotations of equipments, supplies and raw materials. I got so excited that I bought a binder and notebook for all my stuff. I haven't started fixing it though. But I promise to work on it before the month (October) ends.

Color. I've been getting comments that I always wear black or dark colors. I have reasons why I wear black all the time. Colored dresses attract a lot of attention. And my normal mood won't suit if I were pastel colors. And yet I got bothered after opening my closet, almost half of my clothes were either black, brown or gray.

(c) I did a bold move last August. I bought 3 colorful, floral dresses from this really nice boutique. I was like Mama's walking doll. Changing from one dress to another, God knows how tiring that was. So happy to have a mother who doesn't give up on me that easily.

21 years old at 99 Days Before Christmas 2010.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY - The Click Five from Smart RichMedia on Vimeo.

My birthday itself was filled with a lot of good memories.

(1) 12:00am My bestfriends, Pia and Anya, greeted me on the dot. Apparently, their messages made me cry.

(2) I was also with my officemates, Kevin and John, who were kind enough to wait for my parent to pick me up at 1:30am. Tamang ghost stories lang ng birthday ko.

(3) Days before, I received a homemade cupcake from Cathy and a cup of my favorite Jollibee ice cream from Anjo. Pinatataba niyo ata ako e.

(4) On the way to the office, Papa led our morning prayer this time. I was teary-eyed. It's really different when someone you love sincerely prays for you.

(5) Lunch date with my favorite Kambal (Jeff and Jon), Mel and Hello Kitty at Shanghai Bistro. I didn't know Hello Kitty's Chinese. And new discovery, Jon doesn't like milk.

(6) I was reading this novel at Powerbooks. Girl asks guy why do God let things happen to us. Guy: "We cannot fully understand God's plan for us. But we just have to believe." - or was somewhat written that way. Then I saw a very pretty pink rose in front of what I was reading. I turned around and found Kirae. :)

Manila Ocean Park with Kirae. It was her first time, while it was my fourth. But even if I've been there every year, I was still as excited as her. And we had the most amazing tour atHotel H20. Curiosity does bring you to places. We were just exploring the whole place when we met Kuya Remus. Kuya Remus, the gym instructor, was kind enough to accommodate and tour us around. We even got the chance to see one of the rooms. The suite was amazing! More fish tanks and Foot spa. Ang sarap ng tawa ni Kirae sa Foot spa.

(7) "When you thank God for the suffering that come your way, they become blessings for you." - Homily at Greenbelt Chapel

(8) Dinner at Dulcinea Greenbelt 5 (1?) with Andrew and Kirae. I love this couple. They're so cute!

(9) Prayer meeting and second dinner with Lingkod at McDo, E.Rod.

(10) 300+ greetings on FB from grade school, high school, college, BLD youth, family and friends!!! Tried thanking everyone who greeted me. Ang hirap pala. Some of the messages even made my heart skip a beat.

(11) Day after, bonding with College barkada (Anya, Drew and Ela). They surprised me by treating me to movie. Akala ko Despicable Me, yun pala Phobia 2. Disclaimer: I'm a scaredy cat so I left in the middle of the movie. I hated them for that but I'm happy we got to talk over coffee. Dinner at Teriyaki Boy.

Thank you, Annie, for the Chocolate Caramel Cake from Cravings. Thank you for introducing Bruno Mars to me. And yes, Drew, I missed receiving chocolates. Thank you for the huge Toblerone. Hindi ko parin ubos.

(12) Overnight with Little Ms. Artist. Thank you, darling for bearing with me. I love your artwork. Next time, portrait ko na ah! And if I'm more confident with my body, pag-isipan ko ang semi-nude. (As if that's going to happen!)

"What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what will you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your and what amazes with joy and gratitude. Fall in love. Stay in love, and it will decide everything." - Fr. Arrupe, SJ

Love. Parents celebrated their 30th Wedding anniversary last September 20. Even though I lost faith in that area already, I still thank God for blessing people with this kind of union. I can truly attest that they're still very much in love with each other. Aren't they the cutest? (I know a lot of the BLDYouth members love them.)

"Ang sarap maging Atenista!"

Victory. Watched the finals (fourth quarter 8 minutes on the clock) together with some Atenean-Chinabankers at Commons. (Though I only knew two from the group, Abu and Rhon.) Nonetheless, closing my birth month with a victory was definitely sweet!!! Congratulations, Ateneo Blue Eagles 2010!

"Smiles are the languages of love."

Smile. Have I told you? It's been a while since I smiled this much. I think I did. I'd like to think that God gave me my miracle because I'm happy right now. I just hope that this isn't fleeting. And when I'm more stable, I want to share my smile to others.

Smiling, Rica Gran

PS. Will post more pictures next time.

Project 04

I would have to say that this week was a week overflowing with love. :)

Kythe Week

I promoted this here in my blog before. And i have to say that this project was a success. The event was held at the Colayco Pavillion. It had 4 booths. The photo competition booth gave free Hansels to those who voted. They also had a free photobooth. I love the placards and Kapitan Kimo. Written on the placards were "I cancervive.", "I dream of a world where Cancer is just a zodiac sign." and "Cancel Cancer." The third booth, where I spent most of my spare time, was called the Toy Workshop. Here, we made drums, maracas and toy cars to be given out to the Kythe kids. And the last booth was the blood drive booth. I'm so happy that I got Mico to donate blood (it was his first time.) and participate in the activities. He's lucky because the Kythe Week team were giving away a set of coloredpens to those who were able to go through all the booths. I wonder if he gave it to Berna. :D

Mico's "kumakandidato" pose. Good job Mr. Lifesaver.

Kythe Picnic
I can honestly say that I enjoyed our picnic. Everyone was willing to participate in the games. Angelo's chinese garter exhibition would have to be one of the highlights of that event. I also enjoyed the jamming sessions. I'm in love with Janelle's sweet voice. hihihi. One of the songs sung during the event was a song that has a special place in my heart, it was sung during the invocation.



Kythe Flying

I wasn't able to help during the set up since I had recollection that morning. But by 1:00pm, everything was already fixed and we were just waiting for the kids to come. We commenced the event with a Eucharistic celebration. Everyone was filled with the yummy Binalot (except for me and Adrianna). There were also free ice cream and cotton candy. The kids enjoyed the skit prepared by Kythe members. The parents were also able to relax and enjoy, thanks to the free massage by the blind people.

UBE Firetruck was there to give everyone a ride around the Belfield.

Not to mention, Marc Nelson came! Everyone wants to be close to him.

with Adrianna, and cute boy John Cena.

Congrats Mia and Angelo!

I salute your core team as well! You guys were amazing. :D

Immersion Recollection
I kept all of these in my heart.

• "We all have a share of poverty in our lives. We're just scared to admit it." - Recollection Master on poverty

• "The call for us is not only to step out of our comfort zone but to expand the territories of our comfort zone." - Ma'am Rina on our immersion experience

• "There are two types of love. The first kind of love is you love because you derive happiness in that person. The second kind of love is benevolence. You give love because you want to and you give it without asking for anything in return."; "Ask the Lord to give you the grace to forgive them." - Father on love and forgiveness

Send-off Dinner
Baby Eli will be leaving us sooner than we thought. But before their whole family leaves for the states, we gave a send-off dinner at Zhu, Fort Bonifacio. We also went to Venetian Mall at Mckinley Hill. Sayang, we weren't complete. Nevertheless, every moment spent with them is priceless.

First Draft
We were able to pass it on time! Good job to us Annie.

St. Scholastica LSS#16
I read the second reading for that day. Overrated but still one of my favorite readings.

1 Corinthians 13

loved ~ Rica Gran

Please Listen

Let me share to you one of my favorite reflection readings.
I am guilty of wearing thousands of mask. Please don't judge, but just listen. That's what I need right now.

PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I AM NOT SAYING
Writer Unknown

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks. Masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me.
But don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.

I gave you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the weather's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please.
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and my fear of being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant,sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation. And I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, it is followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't care. I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh will kill me. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and you'll see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but which I can't say.

I dislike hiding. Honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the superficial, phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.

~*~

For everyone: Are you also guilty of wearing thousands of mask? What kind of mask do you usually wear?

Sembreak 2009.2

This is the last installment for my sembreak 2009. I'll just write about random things that had happened to me for the past week. :D

Family
I spent undas with my family. We visited our relatives in Cavite and offered our prayers to our departed ones in the cemetery. I enjoyed every moment I had with my lola on our way home. She was totally perky that all she did was tell us of her and my mom's younger years. Truth be told that my lola is exquisitely beautiful. Even though she has children already, this did not hinder her from having suitors in and out of Cavite. But among all her suitors, she only loved Lolo Junior with whom she had 3 children (including my mom). Yet love was not enough to make things work for them. So my mom and her siblings grew up with their mom, grandmother and grandaunt in Cavite.
Three Stories about my Mom in her younger years.
1. Being the youngest, she would always be picked on. She remembers losing her beloved black doll, Pinky and her precious jade ring. Knowing her, she won't lose those items because of mishaps or plain carelessness. Who could be the culprit? Only God and Mama know. :P
2. Mama was also kidnapped by her own father. She stayed in Isabela and was retrieved by her lola and mom after 3 months. It sounds funny to be kidnapped by your own father, but it wasn't for mama. There wasn't any ransom, of course. :P My lolo just wanted to be the one to take care of her. Talk about child custody.
3. Mama wasn't able to attend her college graduation. Why? Because they didn't have money to pay for her toga. Well, Lola managed to get a very old toga for her. But after washing the toga, it literally got torn into pieces. According to lola, parang basang papel yung pagkapunit. Poor Mama. but I'm proud to say that her dream of attending her own graduation came true when she graduated Magna Cum Laude for her Masters Degree. We were all there when she received her diploma. I remember Kuya saying, Tignan mo si mama, mukhang manika. And she definitely was and still is, with or without toga.

BLD Friends
1. Reunited with Pia, Tony and Zayin after months of not hearing from them. Thank you YM! I really can't recall where, when and how our group was formed, but it doesn't matter. I love all of you. hahaha! We talked about our next get together, my and pia's last sem in college, zayin being too matured for her age and uhmm... tony's old age :P. Thank you guys! I'll see soon, okay?
2. Kris Sipin's debut at Ride and Roll. Finally, I got to bond with them again. Everyone looked charming in their 50s outfit. Great party, Kris!

Cheek boy of Manila! Hi Jep!

With girlfriend, Kirae.

Youth with the celebrant

3. Best way to start my semester, celebrate mass with my favorite people, BLDYouth.

Angelo
1. He brought his pasalubong for the whole family after his week-long vacation in Beijing. Hurray for pork and chicken jerky. He gave tea and mugs for my parents, chocolates for my siblings! I love my new bear, pan-pan! Thank you so much, Angelo.
2. We watched PS I love you. *tears* He also helped out in cooking embotido. May sideline na tayo pagdating ng Christmas.
3. Paid tuition together. Such a sweetie, he drove me to Kris' debut and back home.

Rica
1. I'm so hooked to this Kdrama I'm currently watching. You're Beautiful. Plot: Boys Before Flowers + Coffee Prince. So if you enjoyed watching both series, You definitely have to watch You're Beautiful.

You're Beautiful

2. Now that we don't have any housekeeper, I started fixing and cleaning my own room. I also enjoy cleaning our bathroom which includes scrubbing the tiles and cleaning the toiletbowl. I'm so proud of myself. :P
3. Rave: Hello Kerygma magazine!
Rant: Second Semester starts tomorrow! Thesis time!

Mixed emotions ~ Rica

Is God a Killjoy?

Is God a killjoy?

I've been asking the same question ever since. Pondering whether my actions are of God's will or I'm just thinking of myself. So if you're having the same dilemma and you want to be enlightened, go grab a copy of this month's Kerygma magazine. It's available in all leading bookstores. Read and Be blessed!

Adrian and I are on the cover.

I'm super happy that I get to share this experience with one of close friends in community. Adrian is a good friend of mine and a very reliable co-head in the Liturgical Ministry. During the photoshoot, I was really anxious yet he would just smile and laugh with(at) me every time I did something silly. The whole mood inside the studio was simply light.

This will also be my Photo of the Week (or maybe month. :P).

Personal Message:

Adrian - Thank you for bearing with me, partner. I miss the good old days, but I'm really happy that God is using you mightily now in your new ministry.




Blessed ~ Rica Gran