2009: How do you measure a year?

I'm not in the right condition to make a re-cap of what happened to my year. Maybe next time. Right now, I just want to remember what is good about 2009 through a song. RENT, i shall watch you in 2010!

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets,
In midnights, in cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles,
In laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love,
Seasons of love.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan,
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?
IN TRUTH THAT SHE LEARNED,
OR IN TIMES THAT HE CRIED
IN THE BRIDGES HE BURNED
THE WAY THAT SHE DIED?
It's time now, to sing out,
Though the story never ends.
Let's celebrate, remember a year,
In the life of friends.
Remember the love, (Oh you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love, (You know that love is a gift from up above)
Remember the love, (Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love, (Measure, measure your life in love)
Seasons of love,

Seasons of love (Measure your life, measure your life in love).

~*~

The other side of the story...have you heard about it?

Please Listen

Let me share to you one of my favorite reflection readings.
I am guilty of wearing thousands of mask. Please don't judge, but just listen. That's what I need right now.

PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I AM NOT SAYING
Writer Unknown

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks. Masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me.
But don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.

I gave you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the weather's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please.
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and my fear of being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant,sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation. And I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, it is followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't care. I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh will kill me. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and you'll see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but which I can't say.

I dislike hiding. Honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the superficial, phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.

~*~

For everyone: Are you also guilty of wearing thousands of mask? What kind of mask do you usually wear?

Early Christmas Gifts

God knows how stressed I am for the past few weeks. I don't seem to get enough time for my own family and even for myself. Not that I'm complaining about school work (I've already learned how to love and appreciate my studies), i just want a BREAK from this nerve-racking routine. It's as if after submitting a requirement for school, my brain automatically shuts down for the next 24 hours, which is not good!
But the Lord never fails to surprise me with great things and I am more than blessed for all the early Christmas gifts he gave me.
1. A Grade of C in chapter 2 of our thesis
- It was quite a relief to know that everyone in our class got a C. Why did Mr. Venida gave us a C? For him, C means "Continue working". So technically, he didn't give us a grade. Thank God, it wasn't an F.
2. Pia and Kirae
- Pia texted me out of the blue if I was doing anything. Since I didn't want to do anything productive that night I called her immediately. Our chat lasted for more than an hour. I won't tell the details of our conversation, but I surely miss her. Thank you for bearing with me. You know that you can count on me as well. Love you Pi!
- Kirae's YM avatar is a pic of us taken during LTAB of YE 20. Another person whom I miss big time. I shall see you soon girlfriend. Love you Kirae! This one's for you.


3. Kythe
-Kythe means healing through simple sharing and togetherness. It's true that every moment spent with these kids can actually make them happy and feel alive. But personally, I cannot deny the fact that these kids have helped me more than I helping them. They're smiles and innocence makes me want to be a kid again. They remind me to concentrate on what is good and nice about life and to stop being pessimistic. I love them. I love being with kids. They make me want to shift into a different career path. Can you imagine me teaching toddlers?

~*~
Photo of the Week

Sleeping Chinggay during Kythe-Ateneo's Make a Splash at Manila Ocean Park last August 2009.
~*~

4. Immersion = Memorable Vacation
- I never thought that I would actually love to live near the sea. Unisan, I shall return. I'll make a separate entry for this.

Season's greetings ~ Rica

Up, up and away!

With Angelo and sleepy Eli

Ate Ollie and Kuya JB's son, Eli, celebrated his first birthday yesterday at Royal Palm Residences clubhouse. The theme of the party was UP! Eli was super cute in his Russel outfit. The whole venue was prettily decorated and the whole party was well organized. The emcee/magician/puppet master was pretty good as well. He sure knows how to get the attention of the audience (both kids and adults). Click this to see the pictures from the party.

A huge poster of Eli greeted the visitors at the entrance.

The stage had a replica of the old man's house with floating balloons. The house is about 3 feet tall. Lolo made this for Eli.

A miniature replica of the house for the table centerpiece.

And for the loot bags/giveaways, each kid got to take home a backpack with goodies inside.

One Big Happy family!

The cutest first birthday party I have attended so far!!! I love you Eli. *gigil*

~*~

Photo of the Week:

Funny Face with Angelo.

~*~

Wants-to-be-a-kid-again ~ Rica Gran

Twilight Saga: New Moon

I confess that I was one of Edward Cullen's little monsters. He was just too dreamy in the Twilight movie. And though I only read the first book, the concept of vampires and werewolves have never appealed to me this much.

I watched New Moon with Angelo and my cousins last Saturday at Eastwood. We all had an intimate and up close encounter with Bella, Edward and Jacob - movie seats were at the second row. Boy, did I fall in love with Jacob (but my heart still belongs to Edward).

Bella to Jacob: "You're beautiful."
I totally agree! hahaha.

After the movie, we ate dinner at Stackers. Angelo and I can't get over their chicken! Super yummy. We had to beg off on our Starbucks tradition because it's past my curfew with Angelo. Nevertheless, i really enjoyed my weekend.

Vampire Mode ~ Rica Gran

Sembreak 2009.2

This is the last installment for my sembreak 2009. I'll just write about random things that had happened to me for the past week. :D

Family
I spent undas with my family. We visited our relatives in Cavite and offered our prayers to our departed ones in the cemetery. I enjoyed every moment I had with my lola on our way home. She was totally perky that all she did was tell us of her and my mom's younger years. Truth be told that my lola is exquisitely beautiful. Even though she has children already, this did not hinder her from having suitors in and out of Cavite. But among all her suitors, she only loved Lolo Junior with whom she had 3 children (including my mom). Yet love was not enough to make things work for them. So my mom and her siblings grew up with their mom, grandmother and grandaunt in Cavite.
Three Stories about my Mom in her younger years.
1. Being the youngest, she would always be picked on. She remembers losing her beloved black doll, Pinky and her precious jade ring. Knowing her, she won't lose those items because of mishaps or plain carelessness. Who could be the culprit? Only God and Mama know. :P
2. Mama was also kidnapped by her own father. She stayed in Isabela and was retrieved by her lola and mom after 3 months. It sounds funny to be kidnapped by your own father, but it wasn't for mama. There wasn't any ransom, of course. :P My lolo just wanted to be the one to take care of her. Talk about child custody.
3. Mama wasn't able to attend her college graduation. Why? Because they didn't have money to pay for her toga. Well, Lola managed to get a very old toga for her. But after washing the toga, it literally got torn into pieces. According to lola, parang basang papel yung pagkapunit. Poor Mama. but I'm proud to say that her dream of attending her own graduation came true when she graduated Magna Cum Laude for her Masters Degree. We were all there when she received her diploma. I remember Kuya saying, Tignan mo si mama, mukhang manika. And she definitely was and still is, with or without toga.

BLD Friends
1. Reunited with Pia, Tony and Zayin after months of not hearing from them. Thank you YM! I really can't recall where, when and how our group was formed, but it doesn't matter. I love all of you. hahaha! We talked about our next get together, my and pia's last sem in college, zayin being too matured for her age and uhmm... tony's old age :P. Thank you guys! I'll see soon, okay?
2. Kris Sipin's debut at Ride and Roll. Finally, I got to bond with them again. Everyone looked charming in their 50s outfit. Great party, Kris!

Cheek boy of Manila! Hi Jep!

With girlfriend, Kirae.

Youth with the celebrant

3. Best way to start my semester, celebrate mass with my favorite people, BLDYouth.

Angelo
1. He brought his pasalubong for the whole family after his week-long vacation in Beijing. Hurray for pork and chicken jerky. He gave tea and mugs for my parents, chocolates for my siblings! I love my new bear, pan-pan! Thank you so much, Angelo.
2. We watched PS I love you. *tears* He also helped out in cooking embotido. May sideline na tayo pagdating ng Christmas.
3. Paid tuition together. Such a sweetie, he drove me to Kris' debut and back home.

Rica
1. I'm so hooked to this Kdrama I'm currently watching. You're Beautiful. Plot: Boys Before Flowers + Coffee Prince. So if you enjoyed watching both series, You definitely have to watch You're Beautiful.

You're Beautiful

2. Now that we don't have any housekeeper, I started fixing and cleaning my own room. I also enjoy cleaning our bathroom which includes scrubbing the tiles and cleaning the toiletbowl. I'm so proud of myself. :P
3. Rave: Hello Kerygma magazine!
Rant: Second Semester starts tomorrow! Thesis time!

Mixed emotions ~ Rica

Is God a Killjoy?

Is God a killjoy?

I've been asking the same question ever since. Pondering whether my actions are of God's will or I'm just thinking of myself. So if you're having the same dilemma and you want to be enlightened, go grab a copy of this month's Kerygma magazine. It's available in all leading bookstores. Read and Be blessed!

Adrian and I are on the cover.

I'm super happy that I get to share this experience with one of close friends in community. Adrian is a good friend of mine and a very reliable co-head in the Liturgical Ministry. During the photoshoot, I was really anxious yet he would just smile and laugh with(at) me every time I did something silly. The whole mood inside the studio was simply light.

This will also be my Photo of the Week (or maybe month. :P).

Personal Message:

Adrian - Thank you for bearing with me, partner. I miss the good old days, but I'm really happy that God is using you mightily now in your new ministry.




Blessed ~ Rica Gran