Just like in every person's birthday, the celebrant gets to wish something for his/her birthday. I only had one wish... I want to be happy. But happiness won't come to me gift-wrapped and all, I have to work for it. I then staring re-assessing my current state. Why do I want to be happy? Am I not happy enough with what I have? Where should I start? What should I do? Who do I turn to? As you can I see I did a lot of questioning. Not all were directly answered but I knew I needed to do something. I needed to move.
"You may be currently in your valley of tears but do not make it your permanent residence." -Randy of Makati Feast
Move. I was stagnant for the past few months. I thought that I deserve where I was. Always looking behind and never to move forward. Or maybe it was more of scared to move forward. I knew I didn't want to let go of the things that gave meaning to my life. I didn't want to forget. But eventually, I figured that no one told me that I have to totally let go or forget about everything. My past is part of me but it does not mean I should stay there and let it define me. I can still grow as a person and in order to grow, I need to move.
(a) I finally opened my own time deposit account! Just now? It's because I actually have no idea where to invest my money. So even if it's just a TD account, I'm still proud of myself. If you know a good business where I can invest or seminars about stocks, trust or funds which I can attend, just let me know. PS. No pyramid scams please.
"When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality."- Dom Helder Camara
Dream. When you have a supportive family like mine, you can't help but get excited for your future as well. I've been very vocal to my parents about my business proposal way back in high school. Dreams aren't supposed to be dreams forever. And so I started telling them about my plans of putting up my own coffee shop. On our way home from work, Papa and I would discuss the essential things we need to consider for the business. It's good to have someone to remind you of reality when you're being to idealistic. Thanks, Papa.
(b) Parents and I went to the Food Expo last Sept 10. I'm so grateful they brought me there. It felt like I'm one step closer to my dreams. I had a plastic full of flyers, brochures with quotations of equipments, supplies and raw materials. I got so excited that I bought a binder and notebook for all my stuff. I haven't started fixing it though. But I promise to work on it before the month (October) ends.
Color. I've been getting comments that I always wear black or dark colors. I have reasons why I wear black all the time. Colored dresses attract a lot of attention. And my normal mood won't suit if I were pastel colors. And yet I got bothered after opening my closet, almost half of my clothes were either black, brown or gray.
(c) I did a bold move last August. I bought 3 colorful, floral dresses from this really nice boutique. I was like Mama's walking doll. Changing from one dress to another, God knows how tiring that was. So happy to have a mother who doesn't give up on me that easily.
21 years old at 99 Days Before Christmas 2010.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY - The Click Five from Smart RichMedia on Vimeo.
My birthday itself was filled with a lot of good memories.(1) 12:00am My bestfriends, Pia and Anya, greeted me on the dot. Apparently, their messages made me cry.
(2) I was also with my officemates, Kevin and John, who were kind enough to wait for my parent to pick me up at 1:30am. Tamang ghost stories lang ng birthday ko.
(3) Days before, I received a homemade cupcake from Cathy and a cup of my favorite Jollibee ice cream from Anjo. Pinatataba niyo ata ako e.
(4) On the way to the office, Papa led our morning prayer this time. I was teary-eyed. It's really different when someone you love sincerely prays for you.
(5) Lunch date with my favorite Kambal (Jeff and Jon), Mel and Hello Kitty at Shanghai Bistro. I didn't know Hello Kitty's Chinese. And new discovery, Jon doesn't like milk.
(6) I was reading this novel at Powerbooks. Girl asks guy why do God let things happen to us. Guy: "We cannot fully understand God's plan for us. But we just have to believe." - or was somewhat written that way. Then I saw a very pretty pink rose in front of what I was reading. I turned around and found Kirae. :)
Manila Ocean Park with Kirae. It was her first time, while it was my fourth. But even if I've been there every year, I was still as excited as her. And we had the most amazing tour atHotel H20. Curiosity does bring you to places. We were just exploring the whole place when we met Kuya Remus. Kuya Remus, the gym instructor, was kind enough to accommodate and tour us around. We even got the chance to see one of the rooms. The suite was amazing! More fish tanks and Foot spa. Ang sarap ng tawa ni Kirae sa Foot spa.
(7) "When you thank God for the suffering that come your way, they become blessings for you." - Homily at Greenbelt Chapel
(8) Dinner at Dulcinea Greenbelt 5 (1?) with Andrew and Kirae. I love this couple. They're so cute!
(9) Prayer meeting and second dinner with Lingkod at McDo, E.Rod.
(10) 300+ greetings on FB from grade school, high school, college, BLD youth, family and friends!!! Tried thanking everyone who greeted me. Ang hirap pala. Some of the messages even made my heart skip a beat.
(11) Day after, bonding with College barkada (Anya, Drew and Ela). They surprised me by treating me to movie. Akala ko Despicable Me, yun pala Phobia 2. Disclaimer: I'm a scaredy cat so I left in the middle of the movie. I hated them for that but I'm happy we got to talk over coffee. Dinner at Teriyaki Boy.
Thank you, Annie, for the Chocolate Caramel Cake from Cravings. Thank you for introducing Bruno Mars to me. And yes, Drew, I missed receiving chocolates. Thank you for the huge Toblerone. Hindi ko parin ubos.
(12) Overnight with Little Ms. Artist. Thank you, darling for bearing with me. I love your artwork. Next time, portrait ko na ah! And if I'm more confident with my body, pag-isipan ko ang semi-nude. (As if that's going to happen!)
"What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what will you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your and what amazes with joy and gratitude. Fall in love. Stay in love, and it will decide everything." - Fr. Arrupe, SJ
Love. Parents celebrated their 30th Wedding anniversary last September 20. Even though I lost faith in that area already, I still thank God for blessing people with this kind of union. I can truly attest that they're still very much in love with each other. Aren't they the cutest? (I know a lot of the BLDYouth members love them.)
"Ang sarap maging Atenista!"
Victory. Watched the finals (fourth quarter 8 minutes on the clock) together with some Atenean-Chinabankers at Commons. (Though I only knew two from the group, Abu and Rhon.) Nonetheless, closing my birth month with a victory was definitely sweet!!! Congratulations, Ateneo Blue Eagles 2010!"Smiles are the languages of love."
Smile. Have I told you? It's been a while since I smiled this much. I think I did. I'd like to think that God gave me my miracle because I'm happy right now. I just hope that this isn't fleeting. And when I'm more stable, I want to share my smile to others.
Smiling, Rica Gran
PS. Will post more pictures next time.
