2009: How do you measure a year?

I'm not in the right condition to make a re-cap of what happened to my year. Maybe next time. Right now, I just want to remember what is good about 2009 through a song. RENT, i shall watch you in 2010!

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets,
In midnights, in cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles,
In laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love,
Seasons of love.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan,
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,
How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?
IN TRUTH THAT SHE LEARNED,
OR IN TIMES THAT HE CRIED
IN THE BRIDGES HE BURNED
THE WAY THAT SHE DIED?
It's time now, to sing out,
Though the story never ends.
Let's celebrate, remember a year,
In the life of friends.
Remember the love, (Oh you got to, you got to remember the love)
Remember the love, (You know that love is a gift from up above)
Remember the love, (Share love, give love, spread love)
Measure in love, (Measure, measure your life in love)
Seasons of love,

Seasons of love (Measure your life, measure your life in love).

~*~

The other side of the story...have you heard about it?

Please Listen

Let me share to you one of my favorite reflection readings.
I am guilty of wearing thousands of mask. Please don't judge, but just listen. That's what I need right now.

PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I AM NOT SAYING
Writer Unknown

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks. Masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me.
But don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.

I gave you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name and coolness my game; that the weather's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please.
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.

But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and my fear of being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant,sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation. And I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, it is followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't care. I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance and love. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh will kill me. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and you'll see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks. And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything of what's crying within me.

So when I'm going through my routine, don't be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but which I can't say.

I dislike hiding. Honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the superficial, phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME.

~*~

For everyone: Are you also guilty of wearing thousands of mask? What kind of mask do you usually wear?

Early Christmas Gifts

God knows how stressed I am for the past few weeks. I don't seem to get enough time for my own family and even for myself. Not that I'm complaining about school work (I've already learned how to love and appreciate my studies), i just want a BREAK from this nerve-racking routine. It's as if after submitting a requirement for school, my brain automatically shuts down for the next 24 hours, which is not good!
But the Lord never fails to surprise me with great things and I am more than blessed for all the early Christmas gifts he gave me.
1. A Grade of C in chapter 2 of our thesis
- It was quite a relief to know that everyone in our class got a C. Why did Mr. Venida gave us a C? For him, C means "Continue working". So technically, he didn't give us a grade. Thank God, it wasn't an F.
2. Pia and Kirae
- Pia texted me out of the blue if I was doing anything. Since I didn't want to do anything productive that night I called her immediately. Our chat lasted for more than an hour. I won't tell the details of our conversation, but I surely miss her. Thank you for bearing with me. You know that you can count on me as well. Love you Pi!
- Kirae's YM avatar is a pic of us taken during LTAB of YE 20. Another person whom I miss big time. I shall see you soon girlfriend. Love you Kirae! This one's for you.


3. Kythe
-Kythe means healing through simple sharing and togetherness. It's true that every moment spent with these kids can actually make them happy and feel alive. But personally, I cannot deny the fact that these kids have helped me more than I helping them. They're smiles and innocence makes me want to be a kid again. They remind me to concentrate on what is good and nice about life and to stop being pessimistic. I love them. I love being with kids. They make me want to shift into a different career path. Can you imagine me teaching toddlers?

~*~
Photo of the Week

Sleeping Chinggay during Kythe-Ateneo's Make a Splash at Manila Ocean Park last August 2009.
~*~

4. Immersion = Memorable Vacation
- I never thought that I would actually love to live near the sea. Unisan, I shall return. I'll make a separate entry for this.

Season's greetings ~ Rica

Up, up and away!

With Angelo and sleepy Eli

Ate Ollie and Kuya JB's son, Eli, celebrated his first birthday yesterday at Royal Palm Residences clubhouse. The theme of the party was UP! Eli was super cute in his Russel outfit. The whole venue was prettily decorated and the whole party was well organized. The emcee/magician/puppet master was pretty good as well. He sure knows how to get the attention of the audience (both kids and adults). Click this to see the pictures from the party.

A huge poster of Eli greeted the visitors at the entrance.

The stage had a replica of the old man's house with floating balloons. The house is about 3 feet tall. Lolo made this for Eli.

A miniature replica of the house for the table centerpiece.

And for the loot bags/giveaways, each kid got to take home a backpack with goodies inside.

One Big Happy family!

The cutest first birthday party I have attended so far!!! I love you Eli. *gigil*

~*~

Photo of the Week:

Funny Face with Angelo.

~*~

Wants-to-be-a-kid-again ~ Rica Gran

Twilight Saga: New Moon

I confess that I was one of Edward Cullen's little monsters. He was just too dreamy in the Twilight movie. And though I only read the first book, the concept of vampires and werewolves have never appealed to me this much.

I watched New Moon with Angelo and my cousins last Saturday at Eastwood. We all had an intimate and up close encounter with Bella, Edward and Jacob - movie seats were at the second row. Boy, did I fall in love with Jacob (but my heart still belongs to Edward).

Bella to Jacob: "You're beautiful."
I totally agree! hahaha.

After the movie, we ate dinner at Stackers. Angelo and I can't get over their chicken! Super yummy. We had to beg off on our Starbucks tradition because it's past my curfew with Angelo. Nevertheless, i really enjoyed my weekend.

Vampire Mode ~ Rica Gran

Sembreak 2009.2

This is the last installment for my sembreak 2009. I'll just write about random things that had happened to me for the past week. :D

Family
I spent undas with my family. We visited our relatives in Cavite and offered our prayers to our departed ones in the cemetery. I enjoyed every moment I had with my lola on our way home. She was totally perky that all she did was tell us of her and my mom's younger years. Truth be told that my lola is exquisitely beautiful. Even though she has children already, this did not hinder her from having suitors in and out of Cavite. But among all her suitors, she only loved Lolo Junior with whom she had 3 children (including my mom). Yet love was not enough to make things work for them. So my mom and her siblings grew up with their mom, grandmother and grandaunt in Cavite.
Three Stories about my Mom in her younger years.
1. Being the youngest, she would always be picked on. She remembers losing her beloved black doll, Pinky and her precious jade ring. Knowing her, she won't lose those items because of mishaps or plain carelessness. Who could be the culprit? Only God and Mama know. :P
2. Mama was also kidnapped by her own father. She stayed in Isabela and was retrieved by her lola and mom after 3 months. It sounds funny to be kidnapped by your own father, but it wasn't for mama. There wasn't any ransom, of course. :P My lolo just wanted to be the one to take care of her. Talk about child custody.
3. Mama wasn't able to attend her college graduation. Why? Because they didn't have money to pay for her toga. Well, Lola managed to get a very old toga for her. But after washing the toga, it literally got torn into pieces. According to lola, parang basang papel yung pagkapunit. Poor Mama. but I'm proud to say that her dream of attending her own graduation came true when she graduated Magna Cum Laude for her Masters Degree. We were all there when she received her diploma. I remember Kuya saying, Tignan mo si mama, mukhang manika. And she definitely was and still is, with or without toga.

BLD Friends
1. Reunited with Pia, Tony and Zayin after months of not hearing from them. Thank you YM! I really can't recall where, when and how our group was formed, but it doesn't matter. I love all of you. hahaha! We talked about our next get together, my and pia's last sem in college, zayin being too matured for her age and uhmm... tony's old age :P. Thank you guys! I'll see soon, okay?
2. Kris Sipin's debut at Ride and Roll. Finally, I got to bond with them again. Everyone looked charming in their 50s outfit. Great party, Kris!

Cheek boy of Manila! Hi Jep!

With girlfriend, Kirae.

Youth with the celebrant

3. Best way to start my semester, celebrate mass with my favorite people, BLDYouth.

Angelo
1. He brought his pasalubong for the whole family after his week-long vacation in Beijing. Hurray for pork and chicken jerky. He gave tea and mugs for my parents, chocolates for my siblings! I love my new bear, pan-pan! Thank you so much, Angelo.
2. We watched PS I love you. *tears* He also helped out in cooking embotido. May sideline na tayo pagdating ng Christmas.
3. Paid tuition together. Such a sweetie, he drove me to Kris' debut and back home.

Rica
1. I'm so hooked to this Kdrama I'm currently watching. You're Beautiful. Plot: Boys Before Flowers + Coffee Prince. So if you enjoyed watching both series, You definitely have to watch You're Beautiful.

You're Beautiful

2. Now that we don't have any housekeeper, I started fixing and cleaning my own room. I also enjoy cleaning our bathroom which includes scrubbing the tiles and cleaning the toiletbowl. I'm so proud of myself. :P
3. Rave: Hello Kerygma magazine!
Rant: Second Semester starts tomorrow! Thesis time!

Mixed emotions ~ Rica

Is God a Killjoy?

Is God a killjoy?

I've been asking the same question ever since. Pondering whether my actions are of God's will or I'm just thinking of myself. So if you're having the same dilemma and you want to be enlightened, go grab a copy of this month's Kerygma magazine. It's available in all leading bookstores. Read and Be blessed!

Adrian and I are on the cover.

I'm super happy that I get to share this experience with one of close friends in community. Adrian is a good friend of mine and a very reliable co-head in the Liturgical Ministry. During the photoshoot, I was really anxious yet he would just smile and laugh with(at) me every time I did something silly. The whole mood inside the studio was simply light.

This will also be my Photo of the Week (or maybe month. :P).

Personal Message:

Adrian - Thank you for bearing with me, partner. I miss the good old days, but I'm really happy that God is using you mightily now in your new ministry.




Blessed ~ Rica Gran

Sembreak 2009.1

Last sembreak? *Crossed-fingers* Hopefully, this will be the last for my first course. I'm still thinking whether to pursue another college degree after Economics. It's actually my mom's fault why I'm having second thoughts of studying again. She never fails to include it in our conversations. She has always been vocal with regards to her wish for me to take accounting after graduation. Studying in another university didn't appeal to me. I tried opening up to her about my plans of studying abroad but she refuses. I approximately have six months to re-consider her offer. *thinks hard* Then I realize, I am suppose to talk about my sembreak. Sorry about the leeway, back to Rica's sembreak 2009.

First Week
October 19-22
Aside from planning for our Evsem that coming weekend, I practically didn't do anything productive that week. I just cleaned my room, fixed my messy table, discarded unwanted things/tests/handouts from my first semester subjects (I did file some important things though) and created this blog. But that's just about it. Over-all, I had the luxury of sleeping for more than 12 hours, pig out without worrying about having a big tummy and just do nothing.

October 23-25
After a week of not seeing anyone from Ateneo (except for Angelo who visited about thrice that week), I was able to see them again. It was one crazy weekend for me. See previous post.

Second Week
October 26-28

Bonding with Angelo. (26) He paid me a short visit before going to his weekly badminton practice. (27) We also enlisted together at my place since he's having difficulties with their internet at home. He brought meatball porridge for the whole family to share. (28) Knowing how poor he is with directions, I accompanied him in giving letters to Phil. Orthopedic Center and National Children's Hospital regarding the blood drive for Kythe Week next year. We also worked on my nephew's costume for Halloween. He wanted to dress up as Micheal Jackson.

Micheal Jackson!

Little MJ! Who's bad?

Isn't he adorable? I think he was able to carry it well. Congrats, Essel!

October 29
Anya and I had our semestral bonding before we get harassed because of thesis. We watched Bruno (Goodness, I don't want to watch that movie again.) and made chickas (as usual). I'm so proud of my DL thesis partner! Good luck to us. Thank you for bringing lots of food. Sa uulitin.

October 30
Shopping with Mama is love. Shopped for clothes and more clothes.
Let me share to you why I love shopping for clothes. When I was younger, I was never used to shopping for my own clothes. I only get to buy some during my birthday and Christmas. My closet was practically full of hand-me-down clothes from my cousins. But that was never an issue to me. Everything was the same until I entered college. Since Ateneo didn't have uniforms, I was pressured by the thought of wearing the same clothes in less than two weeks. Mama was indeed my savior that time. She would spend so much (and I've never imagined her spending that much) just for my clothes. Mama has her reasons for buying me clothes now that I'm in college. She says that I'm in the process of establishing who "Rica Gran Flores" is. Aside from shaping my inner self, I should also be mindful of how I look and dress. People I meet don't always get to see the real "me" but only a reflection of who I really am. And she would always remind me, "Minsan ka lang dalaga, i-enjoy mo na." Which I frankly agree. I don't dig the latest fashion. I prefer plain black, white, red and brown tops. Don't get me wrong, I'm not choosy. I'll wear whatever it is as long as it looks nice on me. Oh my love for clothes!

I know, this entry was a bit boring. Sorry. I'll post another one maybe two days from now. I'll try to make it more entertaining.

Enjoying her sembreak ~ Rica Gran

My Last EvSem

AEA Evsem 2009

Last weekend, I officially had my last Evaluation Seminar in my college years. How time flies so fast that I can still recall our Planning Seminar last summer. Not to mention the dreadful thing they did to Perfect. Though some were not able to attend, I still enjoyed this crazy weekend with the AEAmazing execom.

We had difficulties planning for our EvSem. Karen, Ari and I were all going gaga about the venue, transpo, food, and waiver forms. Even the night before Evsem, we were still doing last minute planning. I also had to stay up late to work on my presentation for the next day. Talk about cramming.

First day of EvSem went well. We stayed at Carrillo Garden Resort. I love the place and the cottage where we stayed except for the fact that we all had to share 1 bathroom. The owner was also sweet enough to lend to us one of their function rooms for free. For 3 hours, we evaluated all the projects for the first semester. Tiring? Definitely! But going through the process was worth it. By doing so, I think we were able to pin down all the strengths and weaknesses of each project. I was also able to show them my team's girly presentation. Hindi nga lang masyado pinansin, at least my deputies liked it. We also had our Execom Evaluation. Words of encouragement, praise and some expectations flowed during the whole discussion. Compared to last year's EvSem, this time we were really able to realize a lot about our org, projects and ourselves.

Me together with my deputies presenting project evals. Chuck discussing External's department. Kris' catching-the-flying-cereal-using-his-mouth stunt. Julius, Meryl, Precious and Karen during one of the GDs.

Second day - Half of the day was set for planning and presentations of our second sem projects. I'm impressed with the Gant Chart which Karen introduced to us. Afterwards was free time!!! Most of us enjoyed the pool, freezing air breeze (with thick fog) and alcohol. While the others preferred to stay in the cottage and watch 500 days of summer, do some girl talk and sleep.

Kris and I (with the rest of the top 9) discussing the budget for the whole Evsem. Girls' prank on Ari. Everyone enjoying the last night at the pool area. Last pic before going home.

We left the place at around 11:30 am last Sunday and had our lunch at Mcdo. Budget, 150pesos per person. Thank you, Jeanne for the MCDO gift certificates. Hurray for 2-hour drive back to Manila. I'm super happy we got back earlier than I expected. I really hate long travels, they never fail to make me dizzy after.

That weekend was both work and play for me. I felt like I was the "adult supervisor" that time. I took charge of the finances while Ari wasn't around. First day, we had Andok's chicken.for dinner. I was accompanied by Migz and Ken that night. It was my first time in the bayan so I really didn't know where to go. I have to thank my parents for making me eat in carinderias. When Andok's only had 11 order of rice, I had to look for a carinderia so that I can get enough rice for everyone. Second day, since everyone was busy planning, Ari and I went out to buy lunch and dinner. We still bought Andok's chicken for lunch then ordered barbeque for dinner. I had the chance to bond with Ari for an hour while waiting for the barbeque, rice and pictures. Even though he was sabog, he still made sense when we were talking. Last day, when I needed to turn over everything to Ari, I thought I lost 600php. Then after re-computing, lost was down to 300. And then after re-computing again, no lost incurred. God knows how scared I was when I thought I lost 600. Now, I know how it feels to handle a huge amount of money - such big responsibility.

After all the stress, finally I got to rest at home. Angelo even paid me a visit that Sunday after driving all the way from Punta Fuego. He brought me 3 sunflowers and fruits. He really knows how to make me smile.

Personal Messages
AEA Execom:

Guys! You were all AEAmazing. One more sem! kayang kaya ito. I love you all.

For everyone: I hope your weekend wasn't as crazy as mine. And if it was, I know you were able to handle things well.

~*~*~*~

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

If you noticed, aside from my usual blog, I have another project for my little library. On my sidebar, I included my project, PHOTO OF THE WEEK. Here, I shall share to you my favorite pictures both old and recent. I'm certainly excited to update this every week. :D

For my first photo, it's a stolen pic of me and my dad taken during my 18th birthday celebration. I guess I really am a daddy's girl. (Actually, I'm both mama and papa's girl. :P) I was teary-eyed after our dance. I love you, papa.

~*~*~*~

Tata ~ Rica Gran

My little library

Hello everyone.
My name is Rica and I am glad to welcome you to my own little library.

You might wonder why I named my new blog little library. Actually, I'm not sure. It definitely won't comprise of book or article reviews. I don't even consider myself a book worm.Nor would it be about different people and their life stories. I think I have to worry myself with my autobiography first.So what's in store for you here in my little library? Let me give you a simple formula to answer that question.
Diary + Random blogging + Tumblr = Little Library
I guess that's about it.

Personal Message: To everyone (ayeth, ludo, trina, jon, ria) who encouraged me to blog again, thank you.

Tata for now~ Rica Gran

PS. Do drop by every now and then. It's free. :P