Project 10 and 11

It just dawned on me that I'm ending another chapter of my life soon. So for the past two weeks, all I did was to entertain all emotions and stress in my life. And as I got tired, I am trying to reject and remove from my system those which are not necessary and are of no use in the near future. Though the whole process is no joke, family and friends were always there to support and remind me that I am not alone. Lord, help me. Amen.

A recap of what happened to me for the past two weeks...

Week 10

Two of the dearest persons in my life celebrated their birthdays that week.

Second Year Second Sem. After-Class-Matteo-Up routine
March 8 - Happy Birthday, babe!

Thank you for everything. I hope you liked my gift. hihihi! Gamitin mo yan pag nasa office ka na. Don't worry, things will go well. Hope for the best and I'm always praying for you. I love you and God bless.

PS. Straight na ulit hair mo!

March 10 - Happy Birthday, sister!

You're the best sister ever. Kasi nga naman, nag-iisa ka lang. I'm very proud of you. Finally, may work ka na. Do well and kayang-kaya mo yan. Thank you for always being there for me and for constantly praying for me. I'm praying for you as well. Na pressure na ako magkaroon ng work kasi meron ka na. :P I love you and God bless.

Pasta Party
Thank you Thirdy, Andrei, Angelo, Lloyd, TJ, Franz, Quin, Brian and Janelle for coming. I hope you liked the food I prepared. Solid lang talaga ng charades and pictionary. Next time ulit?

First Time to make Cannelloni.

Sobrang kulit ng boys.

Week 11

Looking for work
Because all of my friends were looking for work that time, I was somehow pressured to do the same. And so I opened accounts in Jobstreet and JobsDB. While browsing through the sites, I realized that there are a lot of job openings in the market. However, the positions being offered do not necessarily suit me. It's either I do not like the job or my educational background does not match the job. Talk about mismatch of job offers and job seekers (structural unemployment).

Anyhow, I'm still considering of taking Accounting for my second course. Yet a lot of people kept on telling me to take MBA instead. To work or to study?

Graduation preparation
Mama gave me a very nice pair of shoes. I needed to buy black shoes for my graduation. Since my last pair of black pump shoes was back in High school (We were required to wear heels for the last 3 months of our Senior year.), I asked Mama if I can get another one.

Aren't they pretty?

Graduation, here I come ~ Rica Gran

Breaking my silence

I never said anything against you, I just kept silent because I have nothing to say. I only did one thing; I deleted you in FB. Not because I wanted to get even, but what you've been doing to me is too much to handle. I'm doing myself a favor and that is sparing myself from hearing all those comments.

And if you think I asked my friends to do things for me, I'm sorry but no. I have no intentions of fighting back nor involve anyone who's not part of the issue. The first and last thing that they did was that one FB conversation. They did not want to start any fight but only wanted to end what you guys have been doing for the past 2 months. Thankfully, it stopped. Yet now I'm hearing a new issue which I am clueless of. Please note that not everything that is happening to you has something to do with me. And I am not the only case you have to consider for everthing that has been happening to you.

My world does not revolve around you so stop accusing me and my friends. They really don't care about you but only care for my own welfare. Which means they stopped already when you guys stopped doing things to me. I'm mad but not to the point of disrespecting any of you. Sorry but I never wished you bad. I only want the best for everyone. But for now, one thing's for sure, I stopped caring so just let me be at peace.

Project 9

Finals
Monday that week was my last day of Finals. I submitted my last paper and had my last oral exam! After everything, Angelo and I watched Miss You Like Crazy at Trinoma. I didn't like the plot and I found it dragging in the middle of the movie. Nevertheless, Bea and John Lloyd look good together. :P

Thesis
Tuesday was Thesis day with Anya (and Ray). We went to UP for the printing and binding of our thesis. While waiting, we had lunch at Chocolate Kiss. Congratulations to us, Annie, We're finally done!

*BIG SMILES*

Clearance week
I started last Tuesday right after we submitted our Thesis, then finished everything last Thursday. Kamusta naman ang pabalik-balik! You'll see in the faces of those people waiting in line, how annoyed they were. Good thing Angelo was there to accompany me. After we submitted our clearance, we ate out with Rissa since Angelo was craving for Kare-Kare. We were supposed to eat at Barrio Fiesta, but ended eating at Lydia's Lechon. We ate Kare-kare, Lechon, Lechong Paksiw and Bituka. Someone wasn't satisfied with all that food so he insisted on having desert at Icebergs. I think I gained 10 pounds after. Thank you Rissa and Angelo. Sa uulitin. :D

Grades
Thank you Lord for a wonderful surprise. My QPI for this semester is 3.5, my highest QPI ever. I didn't expect it. Happy Mode!

Feeling Fat and Happy - Rica Gran

Project 6,7,8

Since I've been uber busy for the past 3 weeks because of finals, thesis and the like, i'll let the pictures do the talking except for Week 6. Week 6 was full of drama for me. hahaha! :D

Week 7

Post-Valentine's Gift. You make me smile! Thank you.

I love both of them. hihihihi!

Nanay's 90th birthday! Complete family picture.

Week 8

Happy Birthday Lolo Nes. Family Bonding again!

at Sonya's Garden

Yogurt Yogurt!

TOSH with Drew and Rissa

Loved

Have you ever felt so embarrassed and ashamed to the point that the only thing you want to do is to just disappear? And any form of goodness is something you cannot bear accepting. Yet despite this feeling of unworthiness, you still find yourself in the midst of the people who continue to love you.

This is what I'm experiencing right now, an unconditional love that is too surreal to believe.

I acknowledge that I am only human. Causing people pain was, is and will never be my intention because I, for one, have experienced getting hurt. But as much as I try not to hurt or disappoint anyone, I always end up doing so. Just the mere thought of being found out scares me. What if they won't understand and instead despise me even more? Thus, my way of coping is to just keep it to myself than to hurt other people. And the fact that I hurt people cause me greater pain especially if they are those people who I really love.

A guilty and regretful heart is never enough to compensate for all the wrongdoing. And if Karma's revenge is to let me feel double the pain, there is nothing I can do but to concede to it. Even if my mind wants to fight back, I just hold back and do nothing. This, in a way, is how I thought would fix things.

But I underestimate that unconditional love my God has for me. Friends and family never left my side. Disappointed? Yes. But despite the fact that I've hurt them, I cannot understand why they continue to love and care for someone like me. As I continue to deny them thinking that I don't deserve any of that love they're giving me, the more these people show in their small gestures that I am forgiven and will never be alone. They saw me at my worst. Home visits and phone calls were a regular thing, just to make sure I was okay. They took me to places where the only things which overflowed were laughter and good food. Simple notes, prayers and text messages to remind me that everything is going to be fine. All of these things made me realize how blessed I really am. I was preoccupied with myself that I have already forgotten all about these wonderful things.

"Find in your heart to forgive yourself." This was a big challenge to me. I was too hard on myself, but by doing this I somehow disregard the feelings of those people who never left my side. It was a time for me to let go and continue with my life. This is what I am doing right now. Little by little, I am releasing myself from all the hurts. A the same time, I receive with arms wide open all the love and support I can get from my family and friends.

I feel blessed to have my family and friends. I have a family who loves and cares for me, who listens to what I say and don't want to say, and who is willing to fight for me even if I did not ask anything from them. I have my friends who know what my strengths and weaknesses are, who give me a good dose of both love and tough love,who know the difference between enough and too much, and who are smart enough to know what is right from not.

To all these amazing people,
Please forgive me for all the pain I caused you and for taking you for granted.
Thank you for the love and care that you unconditionally gave me.
Bear in mind that I'm here for you as well, and I love you.

When was the last time you felt loved?

in-love ~ Rica Gran

P.S. I, personally, hate fights. Think whatever you want, but I seriously never wished anyone terrible. Nor did I wish anyone to experience what I've been going through. And if you happen to find yourself in the same situation sooner or later, find strength in God and the people you love. I hope you have an amazing and wonderful family and friends like mine. :D